Hello, welcome to my page. My name is Barry, I was born in Middletown, Ohio, in 1954. I Grew up in Trenton, Ohio. In 1964, I met my best friend, his name was Steve. Steve and I had what turned into an over 49 year friendship. Sadly in 2005, Steve was taken away from me by a heinous act. I have spent the last 20 years trying to recover from the pain and grief associated with losing my best friend. In September 2011, I met my now wife. We had our first child together in April of 2012. We named our son after Steve, his name is Stephan (pronounced Steffin). We dated each other for about 3 years and we wed in March 2014. We was an hour late to our own wedding because my wife wanted burritos. When we arrived at the church, everyone including the preacher asked where we had been!? My wife said "I was hungry, you can't make any big important decisions on an empty stomach". We had a daughter about a year after we got married. When I married my wife, I was still in the anger stage of grief. I found it unfair to live in this world without my friend. My wife would talk to me and listen to my stories. She would listen to music and watch movies and TV with me. She could tell when I was getting triggered. She would talk me through my triggers and help me stay calm. Sometimes my son ask me questions about Steve I do my best to answer those questions, but sometimes the tears just start to flow, my son feels bad because he says, "Daddy I didn't mean to make you cry". I say. "Stephan" in a calm voice "its okay you didn't know"! Every morning I wake up I look to the Heavens and say, How do I? Am I still hurt? (Short answer) {YES}. Will I ever be okay? Probably not! Do I ever think of bad things? Not anymore! But 15 years ago that was a different time in my life. I had blood in my eyes and murder in my mind! But I couldn't get to where he was. So as time went by I begin to not hate so much. Now days I just do not want to see or talk to him ever again! I am married and my family needs me more than prison! So I stay home unless we as a family go somewhere. Well enough of me lets jump over to story and start reading about Steve and I. But I have to warn you this is a very graphic story!